Tough spit, you hit snooze and slept in past ten
You woke up on the wrong side of bed again
To breaking news, man, this just in
Your favorite porn star is far right-wing
You burnt your toast and the coffee’s weak
The weather report is looking mighty bleak
The air out your door isn’t fit to breathe
And your plant-based meat is made of Soylent Green
I was gonna go to the store
But I don’t really wanna get shot
Besides there isn’t that much more
I could buy that wouldn’t speed up the doomsday clock
And the devil keeps the score
He knows who’s naughty and who’s not
Your look-up app is stacked with limp-wrist chuds
You broke up with the locusts, now you’re dating a flood
Your aunt thinks Tom Hanks drinks children’s blood
And you’re shooting blanks in microplastic jugs
It’s all absurd, it’s all obscene
Everybody’s mad, everybody’s mean
It’s like we’re all swimming through the same, sad dream
It’s even worse when you wake, it doesn’t stop when you sleep
I was gonna go to the mall
But I don’t really want to get shot
Besides I think I caught ’em all
The Pogs and the Pokemon
The Clap and the Crocs
And the devil sees it all
He’s on the closed-circuit, keeping watch
Woo!
I’m not saving the world, but I won’t blow it up
I kinda wanna close my tab, but I keep showing up
And if you’re part of the problem, you can go get stuffed
You’ll be a buck above a fireplace soon enough
Democracy dies just like Boromir
Shot through with arrows in a wooded clear
No one was watchin’, so nobody hears
If we covet the ring, they’ll cut off our fingers with shears
I was gonna go to school
I was gonna go to the pool
I was gonna go to the pub
I was gonna go to the club
I was gonna come to your show
I was gonna just say hello
But I don’t really wanna get shot
I guess I’ll just stay at home
It’s the best bet, the safest spot
The devil knows I’m here
Yeah, he’s coming by later with some beer
And there’s nothing left to fear
Just fear
Just fear
Other lyrics by John Gallagher Jr:
All This Changing
I don’t really wanna talk And act as if everything’s all part of some master plan that I can’t see I don’t wanna go outside I don’t need to …
Lido Lane
Gray Monday Staring at me I wish I had something to do Instead of paying my overdue bills I wanna sit across the table from you Like we used to do uh-huh End of summer …
Mitsuko
I didn’t make the drum chair at PS DuPont Cause I couldn’t read the music, and Mr. Chapman just scoffed Then he stuck me on the shaker, the cowbell, and the …
Never Leave
Featuring Hannah Winkler I left my bottle of rum in the Airbnb Hope the next guest is a pirate like me And I cried all the way from Ocean Grove back to NYC Mom and Dad …
Tough Spit
Tough spit, you hit snooze and slept in past ten You woke up on the wrong side of bed again To breaking news, man, this just in Your favorite porn star is far right-wing …