NeveahSoul - I Don't Laugh The Same Lyrics

Something changed in me
I can’t explain it right
I still smile in the pictures, but it don’t reach my eyes
I used to laugh so easy at the smallest things
Now joy feels like a visitor that forgot about me
I still go through the motions
Still answer when they call
Still say I’m doing better
When I don’t know that at all
The room can be full
And I still feel far away
Like everybody’s living and I’m just getting through the day

I don’t wanna be this heavy
I don’t wanna feel this low
I’m trying to find a light again
But some days I don’t know
I don’t laugh the same
I don’t smile the way I used to
Something in me changed
And I don’t know what it turned to
I’m still here, I’m still trying
But my heart feels out of place
I’m not who I was before and I don’t laugh the same

Mm, music sounds quieter
Morning comes too soon
I make my bed, make coffee, but I can’t make joy move
People say I’m stronger
They say I look all right, but they don’t see the silence that sits with me at night
I miss the kind of happy that didn’t feel rehearsed
Before I learned to hide my pain so nobody would hurt

I don’t want to stay this empty
I don’t want to lose my way
I’m praying for the part of me that disappeared one day
But I don’t act the same
I don’t smile the way I used to
Something in me changed
And I don’t know what it turned to
I’m still here, I’m still trying
But my heart feels out of place
I’m not who I was before
And I don’t love the same

Maybe joy is quiet now
Maybe healing moves slow
Maybe I’m not broken
Maybe I just need to grow
Maybe one day laughter will come back soft and true
And I’ll meet myself again in a life I’m walking through

I don’t laugh the same
I don’t smile the way I used to
Something in me changed
But maybe I can change too, I’m still here
I’m still trying, still holding on to grace
I’m not who I was before
But I’m learning my new name
I don’t laugh the same
But I’m still here today, mm

Something changed in me
But I’m not gone
Maybe joy is waiting somewhere further